Not Stars But A Moon

How many times have you fell for the wrong guy? The one that you know he won't be with you..He has another kind of life. "Just let go" no, you cannot say it to yourself, in fact you hold on to him tighter, especially if he's that unreachable. The harder he hits you with the reality, the softer you fall into your dreams of him..I am stopping, right here, right now...No more wishing on a star..

Many boys, you know, the cutest one, the sexiest one, the nicest one, this one, that one..We want them, we "need" them. But you know he won't want you back..He's not even gay! Or he has a boyfriend already! Or he has a girlfriend! Or for fuck's sake he is married! But those obstacles make him more desirable, he starts looking like a star to you, the one that is so far away. You cannot touch him, you know it, and that's why you want him. The kind of star that you are wishing on, even right now. We always do it. But it's about the time to end this. It really is the time to stop it at least for me!

Firstly, I don't fucking need a boyfriend. I've realized it newly. I am good on my own, I am fine. Actually, I ROCK! haha...But if I'm gonna let somebody in from now on, he shouldn't be a star, really. I don't have the time to run after things. I am not letting my dreams down, giving up on them just cuz "he" doesn't share the same dreams. Fuck it, they're my dreams, you cannot disturb, okay? Thanks! I don't want the impossible kinda boys anymore, as much as they somehow seem sexy, I don't want them. I want a regular one, an ordinary, the kind of guy who simply loves you for the way you smile, the kind of guy who suddenly kisses you with no reason, the kind of guy who would say he is sorry because he cannot afford taking you out to a dinner, the kind of guy who is not a star, I want a moon kinda guy. Doesn't it really sound better? No more wishing on a star, I want a moon!

I Am In Charge

Hello the Dead Soldiers of Love!

This is my very first post and yet I'm way too ready to talk about this thing called "love" which also happens to be the murderer of many dreams and definitely expectations! FUCK! Okay, I don't want to sound vicious or anything from the very first post...However, I've failed many times in love..The good news is that I've learned something while I kept falling in love; I've learned how to fall out of it! Now, I am the King!

His name is...well I call him "7". I am not sure why exactly I call him "7" but somehow the number "7" sounds so strong like he is over me! And the number "7" sounds so sharp and it could injure or somehow hurt you, just like he did me! And come on now, doesn't number "7" sound sexy as well?! Ahh he's just so good..

I'm not gonna lie. "7" is NOT the only one! There are many more. Honestly, there ARE many more because "7" was never really there! He couldn't just learn how to hold my hand. So yes, he made the biggest house in my heart, with the family I created in it, and the garden where he and I would enjoy our coffees. It wasn't too difficult, you jerk! But I lost against him many times, couldn't reject him ever. It's pretty much like once you get raped and lose your virginity, there's no harm anymore if you keep on having sex. You're not gonna lose your virginity again! You're just gonna lose what's left in your soul and heart. I've been losing...I've kept on falling in and out of love.

Funny thing is that, no matter what, "7" has been my hero. Just like in that song of Eminem and Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie. It says "But you'll always be my hero even though you lost your mind."

...Now I am in charge!

I'm not on the last page of the story. So we'll see...But while we were turning many pages in the book we wrote, I grew up. I've become a man, a whore, a thief, an angel, and a liar. I shave my face everyday, put my lipstick on so I can leave something for the each lip I kiss. I was always a soldier who dies in a battle and in the end his country doesn't even win the battle; I die for nothing, nothing at all! But the roles are changing now..Interestingly, when I kept losing, somehow, I've become a survivor, moreover; I've become a King...King With The Lipstick..