Wake Up and Live Your Dreams Endlessly

I don't know if you ever do, but I do fall in "love", "like", whatever that is, with someone even for 5 minutes.. Somebody walks on the street, you see him no longer than 10 seconds, that temptation I'm talking about...Somebody tell me please, what is that? A "quickie" love? The biggest, fastest crush? A sudden rush? A huge pink heart shape you desperately want? Somebody you pathetically daydream of how it would be with? What kind of a lover is he? He looks like the cherry on top of a cake you think you don't deserve? A beautiful 10 seconds of a daydream...You feel the urge to wake up, but DON'T! Keep living your dreams, that's something nobody can touch, no matter what...You deserve that cherry my friend, nobody has to know, nobody can understand anyway. Trust me, given our experiences, we're not so fat of cherries, it was all empty feelings of fancy looking whip cream!

It takes over me and I want to share it. I've been having a daydream, it's been a while now, looks like it's going to last longer. Of course I am afraid of the potential I have to turn it into something more realistic than just daydreaming. However; I still don't want to wake up just because some friends tell me it is impossible, and that I am spending my time, playing with my own feelings, that I will hurt myself in the end...So what?! I've been hurt before, by other people. Other people damaged me, injured my heart, abused me in bed, hurt me in the end..I might as well just hurt my own self. It's going to be okay.

By having your own daydreams, that cherry you secretly eat, you are not going to feel disappointed or left outside alone. He will not know, just like eye candy, you're not touching, he is not touching...Therefore, there's no broken promises, no realization that there are substitutes of yours. Simply no promises, no damage, no filth, no drama!

Yes! Yes, I would like to have a relationship with him, but I am so afraid. This way, fantasizing, it's just you and your feelings, it's safer. Only you know how beautiful you are, only you know what you deserve, only you can feel the rhythm in your heart, go with the beat of your heart...Now sleep, dream, wake up, and live your dreams endlessly!

Secret

I can't tell anyone...This little quake in my heart, I have to keep him like my biggest secret. The scream at my ears, I have to pretend like there is no sound. Eventhough the strongest rush all over me, I have to keep my cool, keep calm. I may have sinned, but still, I have to look like I have been praying this whole time. Shhh, I have to be quite, I can't tell him that, I can't tell anyone...

Time doesn't heal anything, it hasn't! Only I know how much my heart has been bleeding, how big the fire is, how much it hurts, how much it truely burns, it burns so much that my tears cannot do anything, they can't put the fire out, they can't wet my heart, the shower of my tears can't clean my heart, it's still a big mountain of ashes. He smoked me...

For the last couple of months I can walk on the street with no shame, because I realize that nothing was my fault; I didn't open my heart wide so that somebody can enter and take the purity away, take the virginity of my heart...It wasn't my fault; somebody raped my heart! I wasn't willing to give it away, I didn't resist it neither, I just didn't know. I knew nothing, I only had beliefs, only saw dreams, only sang songs, only made wishes, called for prayers, I played that "trust game", I closed my eyes, and let myself fall thinking somebody would catch me, I only loved.

I will suffer, I will struggle, inside I can feed this hunger, I just can't tell anyone...So just hush, and keep hitting me all you want, I can handle! I will make no sound, will smile no more, will cry no more, I will not let anybody know. All because it's you I love...Shhh!