The Soccer Player

How come he got to humiliate me in the worst ways possible and still made me fall in love with him? Was it cuz he was so masculine? Maybe it's because he had the perfect smell? Could it be his eyes? Perhaps, his lips? Oh yes, the fact that he was a soccer player is undeniably sexy, right? He was older than me, could that be it? Is it cuz he would pick me up from my dorm and we would make out in his car like high school sweet hearts? He knew where to touch?

Reality: NO! I think the reason is that he kept on making me feel unwanted! The more I wanted to be closer, the harder he closed his doors, and then, of course, I wanted to be even closer than just closer. He broke my code! He figured it out, and used it against me, he took advantage of it, motherfucker! They do it! They do it all the time! Trust me, they do it because they want us more than we want them, they're so afraid of losing. Low self-esteem for a soccer player, don't you think? Tricky bastard!

The sad thing is that I was, in fact I still am, so dramatic that I even liked all those misbehaving, almost everywhere. He even slapped me on the face in a club once, just cuz I kinda pushed a friend of him on purpose and the idiot fell down. Well, he was hitting on my boyfriend, in front of my eyes, looking in my eyes! I had to do that! But yeah, he slapped me, then hugged me...I liked the fact that he hugged me and everything, but I also made a promise to myself. I promised that he will not be able to do such a thing to me, ever again. How sick I was to let him hit me? I did let him, it was me, my fault! That was me crossing the line. Where was my dignity? My honor? Pride? Self-esteem? I am a boy also, where was my penis for fuck's sake?! I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT OUT AND PUT IT RIGHT UP IN HIS ASS! Oh yeah, I'm a bottom...

I'm not gonna lie, the sex was so good. You know how they say "the sky was the limit"...Yeah, well, I was so high above the sky! It felt like no other male bodies could match like ours did. His beard would hurt me in the sweetest way, nobody's teeth could ever bite my lips any softer...

Then he sleeps with my best friend...Let me put it this way; he fucked my best girlfriend! Yeap, he was a true bisexual. As if me seeing this with my own eyes wasn't enough, he tells me in front of my friend that we were never together, we never had anything, and that I should just cut it out and hit the reality. That was kind of unforgivable. It wasn't the kind of drama I would like, It was the sickening type of drama, the one that would make you rush to the toilet and throw up between the ugliest words you would ever use in your life! I asked him to just leave, and he goes "You sure you don't wanna join?" Yes, he is that much of a jerk!

I don't talk to him anymore. I loved him a lot, but I don't love him anymore. I, now, know his games, and they're not fun anymore. So, Mr. Soccer Player, you can keep on playing, but I'm off the field, I've already won this war...